


It's In His Kiss

by veronamay



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-26
Updated: 2005-06-26
Packaged: 2017-11-27 06:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/658787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veronamay/pseuds/veronamay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dom's had enough of Billy's mixed signals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's In His Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Almost-songfic. Pre-slash. Kissing. I am obsessed with kissing fics lately.

**I. Is It In His Eyes (You’ll Be Deceived)**

When Dom first met Billy he didn't know how to react. He'd been nervous as all hell, looking around the wardrobe department and trying to act like he belonged there. Elijah spotted him and yelled his name, and then a second later there was Billy with a grin on his face, his arms outstretched for a hug and the most intense, focused look in his eyes – focusing on Dom to the exclusion of all else. He was transfixed, instantly and permanently. He didn't know what it meant, just that this cute bloke was looking at him with his full attention and it was flattering and overwhelming and he wanted to keep the feeling going for as long as he could.

A lot of people, when they meet someone for the first time, don’t make much eye contact. It’s a self-defence tactic. Perfectly understandable for an ordinary person but when you’re a public figure, it’s stupid to try and connect like that with everyone you meet. Billy does, though; when he meets someone, be it a producer, a member of Dom’s family or a blushing fan, he looks them straight in the eye and reels them in every single time. Dom thinks it’s an incredibly brave thing to do, and he’s tried to do it himself more than once. It’s hard giving enough of yourself away to be able to make people feel like you’ve really noticed them; Dom always feels exhausted after the attempt, but it never seems to bother Billy at all. It’s a gift, Billy tells him. Part of the overall devastating attraction of the Boyds. Billy looks at people, really looks at them, and they love him for it. It’s part of why Dom loves him, though it took him a while to realise it.

That first look he shared with Billy still resonates inside him. It's what gave him the courage to be as open as Billy is all the time. Dom never wants to lose that feeling.

On an ordinary day, the magnetic Boyd gaze is enough to make Dom trip over, drop, or walk into things. Billy on the prowl in a pub or club, however, with his eyes turned all the way up to eleven – that’s lethal to Dom’s peace of mind. He doesn’t trust himself to look at Bill directly then, because he wouldn’t be able to look away.

Billy looks at him differently than he does everyone else. They’ll be out in a group at dinner or a club or whatever, and he’ll catch a glance from Billy that’s not matey, not flirty, but a combination of the two with a touch of non-verbal communication thrown in. It makes Dom feel ridiculously special and embarrassed because of it, but he eggs Billy on nevertheless. He likes knowing he's the only one who can interpret those looks. He likes to think that Billy’s saying something with them that he wouldn’t say to anyone else.

But Dom's also seen Billy look at Elijah or Ian with that same focus and a look that he can't read, and he has to fight off the disappointment that he’s not the only one who has a secret Billy-look. Which is completely ten-year-old of him and makes him cringe to think it, but it doesn’t stop the feeling.

**II. Is It In His Face (That’s Just His Charm)**

After Billy’s finished making people swoon with his eyes he brings the rest of his facial weaponry into play. Dom has seen hundreds fall beneath the smile, the whole face-lighting-up effect complete with laugh-lines and an attractive flush to the smooth cheeks. He makes bets with himself as to how long it’ll take Billy to make his conquests and he hasn't ever lost.

He's joked about it for years, but Billy really is hypnotising. It was a month before he stopped gaping like a landed fish whenever the man was around. And familiarity breeds nothing remotely like contempt, at least not in Dom. He loves looking at Billy. He’s just better at covering up than he used to be. Besides, being dazzled by Billy is a risk he enjoys taking. It makes life more interesting, makes his blood tingle a bit, makes him snappier. He needs the edge to keep up with Billy’s particular brand of insanity.

He’s developed a way of sneaking quick looks at Billy’s face. Brief little glances that slide off onto something else if Billy should notice him looking. It's easy to get away with in public and it allows him to get, if not his fill – because such a thing is impossible – at least his minimum quota of Boyd-watching. Dom doesn’t get the chance to look at Billy every day anymore, so he tries to stock up when he can.

When it’s just him and Billy on their own, it’s both easier and harder to deal with. Easier because he doesn’t have to think about who might be watching, and harder because there’s nobody else to focus on. All Billy, all the time – it’s a heady sensation.

On those rare occasions when he gets to see Billy at rest or in repose, without anyone else around, it’s like every awful cliche about starving men and banquets. Billy is a natural performer, so seeing him without an audience is a chance to dig a little deeper, find the essential Boyd beneath all the surface charm. Alone with Dom he's quiet and subtle, more apt to be serious. Seriousness suits him – the depth of his character comes out in his face and it hits Dom square in his stomach every time.

Dom’s fairly sure that he knows the intricacies of Billy’s face better than anyone else on the planet. He started stealing glimpses of Billy during pickups in 2003, when he realised that the end was really, actually, scarily nigh. Billy caught him at it almost straight away while they were filming their bit for Aragorn's coronation. He never said a word, just raised an eyebrow as Dom's ears turned red beneath the latex. Dom's gotten much better at peeking since then. Two years and a million stolen glances later he still doesn't have enough of Billy in his head, so he keeps on doing it.

He knows it’s a bit odd but he can’t stop himself. It’s not really creepy, though; not like he’s some total stranger following Billy around trying to catch glimpses of him unawares. In fact, sometimes he’s sure that Billy knows what he’s doing – now and then he’ll seem to pose deliberately so that Dom can get a good look at him. They don’t talk about it. It’s just something they do; something Billy lets Dom do.

There are a number of other things that Dom would like to do. He knows that’s probably not in the cards, but sometimes he sees something different in Billy's face that won’t quite let him give up hope. It’s a look that speaks to Dom, though what it says he couldn’t explain in words. It’s a tilt of his head as Billy looks Dom over from head to foot at the flight gate, a sweeping glance of green eyes covered by lashes that veil his thoughts. His mouth will curl up past a smile as if he's about to speak, and then relax into a pensive line as he turns away to board the plane. Billy is telling Dom something with that look. Something Dom doesn’t want to explore, in case he’s wrong. But what’s worse, he wonders: guessing wrong and being gut-wrenched because of it, or hanging in limbo for the rest of his life?

**III. In His Warm Embrace (That’s Just His Arms)**

The times when he first sees Billy again after long absences are Dom’s favourite moments. They’ll be in some airport or other, at some ungodly hour of the day when normal people are working or sleeping or drinking. Billy – or Dom – will stagger off a plane surrounded by other pale survivors of the transatlantic flight, and at the end of the interminable hoopla of declaring only one’s genius at customs – there it is.

Billy’s hugs aren’t showy. He doesn’t make a production of it. He just reaches out and snags Dom by the neck, pulls him close and wraps his other arm around Dom’s waist. Then he squeezes, a full body squeeze that pushes all the tension out of Dom’s body whether he wants it gone or not. He takes his time about it; the hugging is over when Billy says so, and not before. A hug from Billy is like Prozac, only without the dependency. Well, all right, the dependency is there but it’s an addiction Dom has developed with – to put it mildly – vast enthusiasm.

He’s conscious of how much time he spends in Bill’s personal space. It’s never been an issue with them; like so many other things, it’s simply accepted that they will hang all over each other at every opportunity. Billy has never once pushed him away and meant it. He will gripe and snatch himself out of reach, but only ever in play. And for every mock scowl that crosses his face at Dom’s clinging, there is a moment where Billy plays with Dom’s hair or hands, or snuggles into his shoulder and falls asleep. Dom has learned to sit very still, so as to make these moments last.

There has been more touching of late, more hugging, more pure physical contact disguised as tomfoolery. Billy is spending less time in the States, for reasons he and Dom don’t discuss; when he is there, or when Dom is visiting in Glasgow, it seems that every time he turns around Billy is no more than a couple of feet away. He hugs Dom for minutes at a time, sometimes for no reason at all, in the middle of the day or first thing in the morning. It’s the best way to wake up Dom has allowed himself to imagine, so he’s not about to question it, but it does make him think.

The worst hugs he gets from Billy are the ones that say goodbye. They last forever and are tight enough to hint at cracked ribs, which would be fantastic except when they end he always feels like crying.

**IV. How About The Way He Acts (That’s Not The Way)**

There are many different sides to the wee package of dynamite that is Billy. Over the years Dom has seen him in almost every mood imaginable, and though he couldn’t pin the man down to a single defining personality type, he has noticed the ways Billy will define his relationships with others without ever saying a word about it. Aside from the never-ending Boyd charm which he throws around like fairy dust, Billy uses every trick in his extensive book of deflection techniques to keep everyone, including himself, at ease. This is public Billy, the one who signs autographs and meets with studio bosses and promotes charity and community groups. He’s warm and approachable and chatty, but that’s usually where it stops. People who meet this Billy, Dom thinks, will go away thinking him a lovely guy but with no real idea of who Billy actually is.

Friendly Billy is the same, only with more filthy language and cheek thrown in. Billy doesn’t swear around people he doesn’t know well; it’s one of the few truly prim things about him. It’s basic politeness, he says to Dom, usually with a haughty sniff. Dom is willing to admit that it means people take Billy seriously, but he’s not sure he’d want to censor himself like that. He doesn’t rag Billy about it – not too much, anyway – and it is at least a reliable gauge of Billy’s comfort level. Needless to say, most of Billy's foulest and most obscene epithets and jokes are saved for the Fellowship. It's an uncommon way to know you're special, but Dom will take what he can get. He gets a thrill when Bill tells a joke to Orlando or Bean that he heard from Bill months before – it gives him a feeling of access-all-areas that means nothing on the surface but adds to his growing store of hope.

Few people know Billy intimately, and for once when Dom uses that term he means it in all innocence. It’s rare to see Bill in a tight-lipped rage, fists clenched so hard his knuckles turn white, or so happy that he literally can’t stop smiling. To see him in public, you'd think him the most even-tempered man alive, but Dom has witnessed more mood swings in Billy over a week-long period than a pre-menstrual mother of five. It’s not always pretty to watch, but it is something that's reserved for those closest to him, and Dom appreciates the shows of temper for that if nothing else. He likes seeing it even as he wants to grab Billy and shake him, because it means Billy lets him in where others aren't allowed. Elijah's never seen Billy throwing books and coffee cups at the wall because he can't get his tongue round a tricky bit of dialogue. Dom has seen that and more. He's hugged Bill through crying jags at three o'clock in the morning and yelled at him when he's being a prat. Dom thinks it's probably weird to feel smug about that, but he does anyway.

Besides, the payoffs are sweet. The times when Billy acts up to him in public are electric, and the teasing-flirting-jibing vibe they play with is enough to keep Dom on a natural high for days. But the best times are quiet, the near-silent lapses when they don’t do anything but be together, nobody to entertain but each other. That’s when Dom feels he really knows Bill, actually and thoroughly. He can feel his love growing by feet instead of inches, putting down roots and pushing out buds of anticipation.

He wonders how many others have been allowed into the sanctum sanctorum of Billy’s personality. He’ll never ask, and Billy will probably never tell. But it’s almost enough to know that he’s in Billy’s head, under his skin, an irreducible part of his life.

Almost.

**V. If You Wanna Know If He Loves You So (It’s In His Kiss)**

Dom’s a good kisser. Everyone says so; he has unanimous approval and a 9.0 average from the entire Fellowship. He can remember every kiss he and Billy have shared, private (one) or public (four), drunk (three) or sober (two), and he knows he’s given his best to Billy every time. He looks forward to New Year’s Eve more than any other night of the year because he’s always guaranteed a go at Billy’s pretty mouth. Dom’s not sure when this became a matter of importance, but it doesn’t signify because now everything about Billy is important. Of major importance, for example, is the fact that Billy is also a good kisser, something that Dom has thought about many times and in great detail in the recent years of their friendship. Billy’s lips are firm and mobile and he tastes like whiskey and tea in the evenings. Dom has never kissed him in the morning hours, but he would dearly love to. Porridge-and-honey-flavoured Billy with an aftertaste of coffee: this is a taste sensation he needs to experience.

Only once has he tried to kiss Bill seriously. It didn’t go well, what with nerves and drunkenness and him chickening out too soon to know if Billy would’ve kissed him back. He wants to try again, preferably sober and not in the throes of homesickness this time. Dom has been willing to wait and see what happens, but he’s not sure how much longer he can last. He's been trying to figure out Billy's feelings for so long, trying to read the mixed signals he gets that say Billy loves him even when the bastard's getting on a plane back to Glasgow, that now Dom's entirely confused. He doesn't have the guts to just open his mouth and ask, though, and decides that kissing Billy is the answer. A serious, sober, intentional kiss from Bill will tell him if they're on the same page. He thinks – hopes, prays – that they are and that Billy is just as nervous as he is. He refuses to consider any other explanation.

Dom thinks about this constantly the next time Billy visits, a five-day trip to Hawaii while he’s between plays. The surfing is as good as ever and Billy looks good wet so they surf a lot, enjoying the waves and each other’s company. He stares at Billy’s mouth as they eat and shop and talk, which is not unusual. What is unusual is that he lets Billy see him do it and Billy does nothing to discourage him. Two days of this and Dom is ready to explode. He wants to kiss Billy, but more than that he wants Billy to kiss him: a small difference, but it means the world to Dom. Billy doesn’t usually kiss people – he is kissed by them. Dom wants to be the exception that proves the rule. He wants to know what it’s like to be kissed by Billy Boyd.

He lies on the sand basking in the midwinter sun and remembers their kisses, wanting another. He watches Billy wade out of the surf, his skin golden after only two days. Dom turns onto his back and closes his eyes to hide his longing, though he can’t help licking his own lips to get a hint of how Billy would taste right now: brine and sun and leftover mint from brushing his teeth this morning.

Dom can imagine licking salt water off his mouth, kissing him until their lips are chapped from the friction. He remembers being in the airport two days ago, watching Billy crossing the few feet of carpet that separated them. He thinks about the look in Bill's eyes, the single-minded focus he's known since day one. He can still feel Billy's usual hug-till-you-can't-hug-no-more treatment from last night and this morning and half an hour ago. He's been holding on to Dom for so long that Dom has pins and needles when he finally lets go. Dom is being hit by all these sensations like they're meeting for the first time, only now he has this huge wealth of feeling inside that demands an outlet. It's proving the biggest effort of his life to keep his mouth to himself.

The signals are starting to gain clarity, Dom thinks, but he still wants to be sure. To talk about it now would jinx it. Billy has to kiss him and that's all there is to it. Dom focuses on this and lets himself drift.

At first he doesn’t notice it. The touch is so gentle it feels like the warm westerly breeze on his face, ruffling his eyelashes and cooling the sweat on his temples. As he surfaces from his doze, Dom senses a dimness that he thinks is a cloud passing over the sun. Perhaps the day is turning cool; they should probably go inside before long.

It’s several seconds later when he realises someone is hovering above him. He opens his eyes and looks at Billy, a bare half-inch away.

Billy, poised over him on hands and knees, looks back.

Dom holds his breath.

Billy kisses him and takes it away.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter headings, title and inspiration taken from _Shoop Shoop Song "(It's In His Kiss)"_ , Aretha Franklin, 1964


End file.
